The Marathon

I learned something last weekend, a marathon is a human race.

I’ll explain:

I ran a marathon last weekend in St. George UT.  My last previous Facebook post was at mile 18.84. At the time, it was the furthest I had ever run in my life. I didn’t post after the race because about 10 min after I finished I started vomiting and kept vomiting for 6 hours. I quite literally ran my guts out.  I ended up in the Emergency Room later that night. The joke is I put the ‘ER’ in ‘Finisher’…..but that isn’t what I learned.  

When I ran at the start, nobody was cheering me on. When I ran at mile 4 when my IT band and ankle started hurting, nobody was there to tell me to keep going. When I ran through Veyo, my family wasn’t there holding signs of encouragement, or cheering me on or giving me high-fives like the other runners. At mile 13, when I tied the farthest I had ever run ever, nobody was there to celebrate with me. When I hit mile 18 and was near delirious from exhaustion, I had nobody to talk to. There were no signs posted along the way that had my number or name on them. I ran slow, because that is the best I could do. I took so long to finish (6:10:37) that they were taking down the gates , signs and decorations at the finish line when I came in. Over 5000 people finished ahead of me and only handfuls finished after me. There was no tape to break, no medals for place, no qualifying times, just me and a line in the street I ran across with 8 letters that signified completion. I did something I never thought I would ever do.

…but I finished. I crossed the line. I didn't do so well, but I did it.

There are races you run in life to win and there are races you run simply to cross the line marked Finish.

The race we run every day is much like this. Sometimes we feel alone, by ourselves, just trying to make it to the end of the day….I have had plenty of those and will probably have many to come.

In this day and age of pushing ourselves to our very limits, the self deprecation is astounding. Self deprecation is the act of belittling or undervaluing oneself and I have found it’s all around me. I listen to others that have run compare notes about how they didn’t do as well as they wanted, or they aren’t the person they thought they were because they should have just pushed a little harder or gone a little faster, done a little better.

Stop….just stop.

In the movie Cool Runnings Jamaica is trying to put together a bob-sled team. It’s loosely based on a true story of a bunch of underdogs that made it to the Olympics. One conversation in the movie comes from the coach to the team captain who thinks winning a gold medal will make him feel better about himself. It goes like this:

Coach: Derice, a gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you're not enough without one, you'll never be enough with one.

Derice: Hey coach, how will I know if I'm enough?

Coach: When you cross that finish line tomorrow, you'll know.

I crossed my finish line and I’m still here, vomit stories, ER trips and all. What I did isn't going to qualify me for anything, put my name where others can see it, or make me feel better about all the crap in life I have to deal with….but for a brief, fleeting moment, it was something I never thought I would do….or could do, and today, that is enough for I am a marathoner.

The Turtle

Catey signed me up for a 5K months ago.....

grrrrrrrr.

....but I digress.

I ran (that is ran-the-whole-time) a 5K today. I have *participated* in 5K's before, but never ran one without stopping.

Today was the day!

The race started at 7:00am so we had to be up early. Several of my kids ran with me. When they asked us to line up at the start, all of my kids stood right on the line, I had them all go to the back with me. I told them if they pass people, that is fine, but we were not going to be in the way of those REALLY fast runners.

The start was sounded...
Everyone took off...
I started a very slow, a laughable pace at best, but I was determined to keep that pace, without stopping. As the race started to thin out and I could see runners strung down the road and around the corner I wondered where I was in the race....I looked back and saw 4 people behind me. {sigh}

But I kept going.

Finished last place in men and only in front of a handful of other people, but I finished and I finished like I started.

My pace: just over a 12/min mile.
My running name: Turtle.

You may now refer to me as the turtle...but I ran.the.whole.way.

..now, about that bowl of ice cream....

-Aaron

A Social Experiment....

CALLING ALL LIBERALS!

Dear Liberals, I have a challenge for you. Leave this blog up and open a new internet window and open your online banking. If you have more than $1000 in your checking or savings, you have now been deemed 'wealthy' compared to me (I am the poor, I get to make the rules). I want you to imagine that half of what is in your checking/savings, is now mine, I think I deserve it. It will really help me out. I promise to be grateful.

Since you are blessed to have more than me (this is not a joke), I am going to place you under your Christian and Social duty to help the poor (Where much is given, much is required. - Luke 12:48 / D&C 82:3). There are no laws enacted, I won't occupy your yard, make signs or yell at you. I even have a wall in my house that I will treat as a shrine for those who actually donate to the cause. (I have spent a lot of time in hospitals lately, I figure I can live with a 'Ball Family Sponsor' wall in my house as long as my needs are met.)

If you don't want to help me, then help my family (wife & 8 kids), they shouldn't be burdened with my poor choices, they can't help it that their father/husband doesn't make better financial decisions or more money.

Let me give you the run-down.....just so you know what I will be doing with my money that currently sits in your bank account.

- Both of my cars are over 10 years old. (Still paying for them)
- My children live in a basement that has no carpet. (The stairs will be carpeted after this weekend as someone has donated their old carpet to us.)
- I have over $50K in student loans.
- My mortgage teeters on the brink of being upside down.
- I am working full time and going to school full time (My daily schedule starts at 4:30am and ends at 10:30pm).
- I have to commute over 1.5 hours every day (Gas money alone is outrageous).
- Our bank account is drained to almost nothing (This is not a metaphor) with Thanksgiving upon us and Christmas right around the corner.

So, whatever is in your accounts, half is now mine (remember I am the poor, I make the rules). I promise to only spend your generous donation on School loans, carpet for the basement (possibly a bathroom in the downstairs), paying off my cars or commuting expenses.

Fair?

I left you half of your disposable value. (I think that is fair..... I get to make the rules.)

I see three options here (remember...I am poor, I get to make the rules).

#1 - I'll start seeing checks appear in my mailbox (or cash.....I'm not picky) because you are an idealist and believe that change starts with you. You will put your money where your mouth is and help your fellow struggling family. You will understand that I am honest and simply trying to do the very best I have in me and you feel duty-bound to take that which is rightfully yours, and give it to someone who has real need.

#2 - You will reply to this blog (or Facebook post) with some snarky remark about how clever I am (or outrageous) and about how this totally makes your point and redirect me to the 'wealthy' and tell me to ask them. (Remember the first paragraph.....if you have more than $1000 in savings YOU ARE THE WEALTHY BY MY STANDARDS (yes, I am yelling) and I deem you the responsible party. Remember, change starts with you. (Kinda stings a bit when YOU have to put up or shut up huh.....)

#3 - You won't respond but you will go away thinking this blog is preposterous. "Who does this guy think he is? He doesn't deserve anything of mine, I worked very hard for what I have. He made his choices with the size of his family, his education, his job, his spending habits....why does he think he deserves or has a right to anything of mine?"

If you choose option 1, GREAT! Email me at aatball@gmail.com and I will give you instructions on how your donation can be accepted (I'll even accept PayPal). The size of your donation will directly determine the size of your nameplate, plaque or picture that we will happily display on our 'Ball Family Sponsors' wall.

If you choose Option #2 - You are a hypocrite. (Noboby likes a hypocrite, so don't choose option #2.)

If you choose Option #3 - Congratulations......you are a conservative.

Remember, I am the poor, I get to make the rules. I await your generous donation this Thanksgiving season. Thank you.

-Aaron




**DISCLAIMER**
(Please understand that while the facts of this blog are accurate, it was written in satire and written with someone in mind (Yes, you know who you are ;) ). The life I have chosen takes great sacrifice and I am blessed for my efforts. I don't think I deserve or have a right to your money.....you earned it, you keep it. I am responsible for my actions, the size of family I have chosen, the job I have and the decisions for my family and household. Also, my wife is going to be ticked that wrote this, don't blame her.)

I have to blog at least ONCE this year.

I was reading my wife's blog and started to re-read some of my blogs. Like this one and a lot has happened. Since everyone moved to Facebook I blog, but in a sentence or two (or ten depending on the topic or who I have angered). Some of my old blogs got me thinking I should blog more often again......maybe not.

A lot has happened (I have no time to esplain...only to sum up)
- 20 year High School Reunion
- Halfway through nursing school
- Sam is doing wonderful and growing and unlike what we thought in that post above he is fully functional
- Good friends moved away
and many others.....
I am sitting here staring at the screen hoping something interesting will pop into my head so I can write it down, but nothing has.

Just read that blog (posted above) and realized that sometimes the world won't be as bad as we are told it will be or as we imagine it to be.

A great quote I heard lately said: "Sometimes the Lord calms the storm, sometimes he calms the sailor, and other times, he just helps us swim."

So true, so very very true.

Electricity...by Alaina and Jacob

There are few days in our house where some miraculous, near-death experience isn't prevelant.

The other day was no exception.

The back story to this is Jacob's curiosity got the best of him and decided to put a staple (or some other metal object) into the outlet of their room {boom} flash of fire, out go the lights.

Taylor saw the flash and thought the room was going to catch on fire so naturally he started kicking the wall outlet repeatedly as to put out the 'flames'. (There were no flames but he is 10. I give him points for trying to save the house from burning down.)

Enter me.....I find that the breaker is tripped, the outlet cover-plate is smashed and the outlet is burned. Calmly (yes, I was calm at this part) I asked what happened.

Jacob: Um.....I put a staple in the light socket.

Me: Why would you do that?

Jacob: Um....I....Um....was curious and didn't know what it will do.

(this is where I lost it)

Me: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! YOU ARE 7 YEARS OLD!!!! WE HAVE OUTLET COVERS IN THE LITTLE TINY KIDS ROOMS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ENOUGH TO NOT PUT SOMETHING IN THE OUTLET!!!! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!!?!? IT COULD HAVE KILLED YOU! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ELECTRICITY HITS YOUR HEART? IT STOPS, IT TURNS BLUE AND DIES AND YOU DIE. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER PLAY WITH OUTLETS OR ELECTRICITY!!....GEEEZ KID, YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!!!!! DON'T PLAY WITH ELECTRICITY OR OUTLETS EVER AGAIN!!!!!

I was not happy.

Apparently the message got through because Jacob has been writing stories in his class about electricity and how it can kill you. I had all but forgotten the story, except yesterday, on my way to work, I was passing through the kitchen and found this on the table: (click on it to enlarge so you can read it.)



I had to laugh. The best points of the paper are when she said "He could have died. He didn't." and "Death is one of the worst things...." If Death is one of the worst things, there must be a list of 'things' somewhere. I want to see the list. The 'fun fact' was hilarious as well. Apparently Jacob commissioned Alaina to write this. They should write childrens books.

I guess my kids do listen to me....even if I am going overboard.

I love my kids.

14years ago today...

June 5 1996 was my very first date with my wife.

I was nervous because I had never had anyone that beautiful say yes to me asking them out....of course, she was 17 at the time and probably didn't know any better. I took her to our family cabin where my Grandpa and Grandma met her for the first time, made us hamburgers for dinner (which Catey asked for a second....she denies it but she did). After she ate two hamburgers and said she was a fan of Rush Limbaugh, my Grandfather put his arm around her and said "Welcome to the family!"

I didn't mind.

We took a walk down the winding dirt road past my uncle's cabin where she spun tails about her brothers, her sister that drove her crazy and about her days as a gymnast...her favorite was the balance beam. Shortly thereafter I was helping her across a fallen tree and she slipped and fell into my arms. I laughed and said something about she must not have been very good on the balance beam if she fell off a huge tree that easily.

I think it wasn't an accident.

Later, we drove the loop at the top of the canyon. The sun was gone and the moon was out. As we pulled around the Brighton loop and the moonlight came into the car, I stopped the car and just looked at her. It was truly, one of the most magical moments in my life. After just a few hours of spending time with this person, I fell harder and faster than ever before. It was sitting there that I told her she was something special.

I took her back to her car (later found out she lied to her parents and told them she was at WORK.....silly girls) and there it was I did the unexpected. I am rarely at a loss for words or find myself uncomfortable in my skin but I was bursting inside. After some small-talk, I blurted out "OK, I KNOW you want to kiss me....so go ahead"....she did. I thought my skin would catch fire when her lips met mine.....I still feel that way. We stood there and kissed for what seemed like hours. I asked her to nibble on my ear too....I figured I should get what I could while the getting was good.

A week later I found myself sitting with her. staring into her eyes again and I told her "I have been looking for my Eternal Companion all my life....are you her?" ....she thought for a moment and said she was....the rest is history.

We were enamored by each other from the very start, I didn't know what she saw in me, but I certainly knew what I saw in her. Here was the mental image of perfection...sitting in my car, standing in front of me, holding my hand, laughing at my stupid jokes, coming over to wake me up in the morning and not running away screaming.

I am still grateful for all she offers and brings to me. She truly is my fairy tale bride, I would be lost without her.

If God let me design a wife.....I could have never done that well.

That was the best first date I ever had....glad it was the last.

Swagger Wagon

I posted this on FB earlier....but I had to post it here.....this made me laugh and gave me hope in the humor of commercials to come....

THIS WAS FUNNY!!! IT WAS GREAT!!!



Lyrics:

This one goes out to all you minivan families out there.....Sienna SE…in the house.


Where my mother/fathers at? Where my kids at?
Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?


Where my kids at?

No, seriously honeywhere are the kids?


They’re right there.....see?


Oh, cool beans.

(DAD)


I roll hard through the streets and the cul-de-sacs,


Proud parent of an honor roll student, Jack.


I got a swing in the front, a tree house in the back,


My #1 Dad mug says, Yeah, Im the Mack.

(Mom)

I’m the world’s best nurse when my kids get sick,


I make a mean gel-mold, I perfected my tricks,


Back when I used to party as a college chick.


Now I’m cruising to their playdates lookin’ all slick…

(Chrous)


In my Swagger Wagon,


Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,


It’s the Swagger Wagon,


I got the pride in my ride.


In my Swagger Wagon,


Yeah, the Swagger Wagon,


It’s the Swagger Wagon.

(Dad)

Check it…

I love hangin’ with my daughter sippin’ tea, keep my pinky up,


All the drawings on my fridge sport an A+.


I’m an awesome parent, (Right!) and it’s apparent, (True!)


And in this house there’s no mother/father swearin’.

(Mom)


Straight owning bake sales with my cupcake skills,


I’m better with the money, so I handle the bills,


And I always buy in bulk, ain’t afraid of no spills.


Every Mother’s Day proves…I’m kind of a big deal.

(Daughter)

Mommy, I need to go potty.

(Mom)

Bring the beat back, ’cause, yo, I got more to say,


You know I’m always front and center at the school play.


I kiss their boo-boos, clean doggie doo-doos,


Cut the crust off of PB&Js, chill the Yoo-hoos.

(Dad)
Singin’ “Farmer in the Dell” in perfect harmony,


When I’m rollin’ with my posse in the HOV.


We rock the SE, not an SUV,


And it’s true, if I were you, I’d be jealous of me…

Sad to say.....but I want to go for a test-drive.....

-Aaron